Jokes and Lies



The latest lies from around the world.

Riverton, Utah - Saint Christopher and Jesus like to shop at Petersons while singing Despacito. If you talk to him, he's a pretty chill dude and likes to make bread fo...

West Milton, Ohio - All the supernatural and space creatures will be in attendance at the West Milton July 4th celebration this year. They change appearance and blend in ...

Aztec, New Mexico - The dorm is actually good....

Clarksville, Arkansas - There is always a man in my closet and bathroom. Every time I get up at night and go to the bathroom he is sitting in the toilet screaming holding a k...

Sonora, California - I went to Sonora today hearing all these stories previously. I just was expecting something, so we got there and grabbed a bite to eat at this small r...

Durango, Colorado - A woman reported that a man she met at a bar promised he would love her forever, and she took him home. She said that he disappeared right after they ...

Muskogee, Oklahoma - Strange blue light shining down on my cows last pm. Now some of them have strange markings on them like egyptian hieroglyphs. Also some of the dairy c...

Dilley, Texas - There is a devil out by the oil fields. It is there under big mounds of earth. At least 40 circular mounds of earth which have a small opening at the ...

Canal Winchester, Ohio - A Jabberwocky can be seen every year on June 13th trying to remove bodies from graves in the Union Cemetery....

Wilcox, Nebraska - There is a super dooper scary ghost with a hammer....

Royse City, Texas - That intelligent life has been found at the Southern Junction....

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Zeb: ''What did the Old Prospector say when his partner died and he inherited his half of their gold claim?''

Jeb: ''Mine, all mine!''

=============

Zeb: ''What happened to the perfume maker when he lost his mind?''

Jeb: ''He stopped making scents!''
=============

Zeb: ''What did the Psychiatrist say to his patient who came to his office covered from head to toe in Saran Wrap?''

Jeb: ''I can clearly see your nuts!''.
The local church built new bell tower complete with one big bell. The Padre placed a want ad in the newspaper to hire a bell ringer. After several weeks there was no response. Finally there was one applicant however he had no arms.

''My son,'' said the Padre, ''You have no arms. How can you do the job?''

''Trust me, I can do the job. Please, give me chance!'' And so the Padre and the man climbed up the tall tower and entered the bell room. The man backed up into the corner and ran full tilt into the bell, striking it with his head! ''BONNNNGG!!'', went the bell.

''You have proven your abilities! You're hired'' said the Padre. And so every Sunday the man would run full tilt into the bell with his head and it would go ''BONNNGGG!'' This went on for several months. One Sunday, there was a problem. The man backed up into the corner but unnoticed his shoe lace had come untied. He ran towards the bell and tripped on his loose shoelace. He stumbled and missed the bell completely and instead flew out the window. He fell a hundred feet and hit sidewalk with a thump. He was dead on impact.

A crowd gathered around the dead body and the police were summoned. Officer O'Malley addressed the crowd, ''Can anyone tell me this man's name?''

The Padre spoke up, ''You know, I don't know his name, But his face rings a bell.''.
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