Jokes and Lies



The latest lies from around the world.

Hot Springs, Montana - People have said that there has been spotted a giant alien-like creature running around Great Falls, Montana....

Rockport, Massachusetts - Lovecraft's ''The Shadow over Innsmouth''. Although it reads familiar the fish people were not living on the breakwater in Sandy Bay....

West Milton, Ohio - The area sky grew darker and more violent. Suddenly a tornado appeared spewing out prehistoric creatures which made a hearty meal of the rural West Mi...

Warrenville, Illinois - Not often do I feel it necessary to alarm the public; however, when witnessing such an eerie and potentially serious sight I feel the good citizens of...

Warrenville, Illinois - While enjoying a refreshment on my back porch, a hunched fellow appeared out of the woods in front of and asked me for cigar. As I returned with one a...

Warrenville, Illinois - On more than one occasion there has been a translucent apparition seen lurking near the dumpster near family foods. Local legend suggests it is the gr...

Coachella, California - The lie would be that I never saw the family of 6 walking around the frontage road and I10 Wash area. That would be a complete lie.......

Warrenville, Illinois - A huge opossum wearing a tuxedo with a cigar in his mouth has been spotted on several occasions near the baseball diamond by Johnson school....

Warrenville, Illinois - A half wolf half man can be spotted leaving Fermlab at Batavia every full moon. Be careful....

Falmouth, Kentucky - A large dome shaped spacecraft is sometimes spotted hovering over the Southern Elementary Ballfield and Fairgrounds. If you take a picture of the craf...

Ottumwa, Iowa - Sometimes when I turn on East Avenue I see a stream of flowing water housing a bloody noose, a baptismal temple with pots of blood around the outside...

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Moe: ''I'm going to tie you up with this rope!''

Larry: ''Why knot?''.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, as hmmm , never mind.
Matlock: The Bloodhounds could not pick up a trail at the murder scene.

Lieutenant Colombo: It appears to be just another scentless killing...
So Arthur, you have any recommendations from previous employer?
- Yes sir, he recommended that I go find a new job.
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? ?
None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard.
Pete: What kind of lumber did they build the bandstand with???

Suzy: Oh! I. Know!!! Tuba fours!!!.
Nancy: ''Knock! Knock!''

Sid: ''Who's there?''

Nancy: ''Lettuce!''

Sid: ''Lettuce who?''

Nancy: ''Lettuce in!, It's cold out here!''.
Paul: ''Knock! Knock!''

George: ''Who's there?''

Paul: ''Barbara Ann!''

George: ''Barbara Ann who?''

Paul: ''You need to go to the Barbara Ann get your haircut!''.
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