Jokes and Lies



The latest lies from around the world.

Pittsburg, California - On 10th Street in 1962 a woman named Pauline who was the local phone operator took her life. Her home was torn down, but the homes on either side of h...

Moreno Valley, California - A tall thin white man with long black hair and black trench coat and red bloody face with a smile from ear to ear with both hands resting in front of ...

Edinburg, Virginia - There is a ghost in the Edinburg mill. You can see it late at night in the uppermost windows of the mill. Sheriff's deputies have seen the ghost too....

Warrenville, Illinois - Recently a tall slender man with a shepherd's hook and a black dog on a leash was near the dumpster by Woodland school chanting ''Ooh La La, Ooh La La...

Seagraves, Texas - During the last day of school in 1959 a tragic event took the life of a graduating senior. As an act of mourning for a lost friend, one of the classma...

Cedar Park, Texas - Most mornings at about 4:30 an enraged woman drives at top speed to the Starbucks in Cedar Park. She carries a homemade shiv and sabotages people's oa...

Springfield, Pennsylvania - ET can be seen at the current construction site of a new school on several nights after dark then goes to a local Wawa....

Senatobia, Mississippi - A frog with a intelligible croak has been heard croaking the national anthem at the old abandoned high school football field in a community near Senat...

Desert Center, California - Don't think everything is a lie. Having grown up in Desert Center, I've seen things that I can't explain....

Clover, South Carolina - When I was a man I was abducted by some ghostees and carried away to a party. I had my hair parted in middle, so I was cross eyed. I hope no one gets ...

Warrenville, Illinois - From time to time a vision of what appears a half-man half-goat has been seen at the Batavia Road entrance at Fermi Lab....

More recent lies from around the world

BROWSE LIES BY STATE OR COUNTRY
BROWSE LIES BY CATEGORYTOP 20 JOKE CATEGORIES
Alaska ( 5 )    
Alabama ( 8 )    
Arkansas ( 11 )    
Arizona ( 9 )    
California ( 67 )    
Colorado ( 9 )    
Connecticut ( 9 )    
Delaware ( 5 )    
Florida ( 11 )    
Georgia ( 21 )    
Hawaii ( 2 )    
Iowa ( 60 )    
Idaho ( 4 )    
Illinois ( 30 )    
Indiana ( 20 )    
Kansas ( 18 )    
Kentucky ( 9 )    
Louisiana ( 11 )    
Massachusetts ( 11 )    
Maryland ( 4 )    
Maine ( 6 )    
Michigan ( 17 )    
Minnesota ( 13 )    
Missouri ( 28 )    
Mississippi ( 10 )    
Montana ( 13 )    
North Carolina ( 9 )    
North Dakota ( 11 )    
Nebraska ( 23 )    
New Hampshire ( 4 )    
New Jersey ( 5 )    
New Mexico ( 13 )    
Nevada ( 8 )    
New York ( 34 )    
Ohio ( 71 )    
Oklahoma ( 47 )    
Oregon ( 3 )    
Pennsylvania ( 23 )    
Puerto Rico ( 1 )    
Rhode Island ( 3 )    
South Carolina ( 11 )    
South Dakota ( 5 )    
Tennessee ( 9 )    
Texas ( 111 )    
Utah ( 8 )    
Virginia ( 16 )    
Vermont ( 6 )    
Washington ( 11 )    
Wisconsin ( 24 )    
West Virginia ( 8 )    
Wyoming ( 10 )    
World ( 21 )    
    Man ( 133 )
Ghost ( 89 )
Home ( 84 )
School ( 39 )
Ufo ( 34 )
Lady ( 34 )
Cars ( 32 )
Dogs ( 32 )
Aliens ( 31 )
Park ( 28 )
Road ( 28 )
Eyes ( 27 )
Bigfoot ( 26 )
Woods ( 22 )
Lake ( 21 )
Face ( 21 )
Lights ( 21 )
Girls ( 20 )
Zombies ( 19 )
Creatures ( 17 )

All Categories
    Word ( 148 )
Miscellaneous ( 51 )
Knockknock ( 48 )
Idiot ( 42 )
Marriage ( 22 )
Dirty ( 18 )
Animal ( 17 )
Kid ( 16 )
Doctor ( 15 )
Riddle ( 10 )
School ( 10 )
Criminal ( 9 )
Death ( 8 )
Drunk ( 7 )
Friendship ( 7 )
Silly ( 6 )
Bar ( 6 )
Lawyer ( 5 )
Parenting ( 5 )
Office ( 5 )

All Joke Categories

Miscellaneous Lies

About Us

Ghost Sightings



Mac is a rather large man and he is a substitute bus driver for the school district and is assigned a new route for the week. Monday morning he starts his run.....
At first stop a portly girl boards the bus...
Mac greets her,''Good morning, What's your name?''
''Patty'' she replies and she takes a seat.
At the second stop, another portly girl boards the bus.
Mac greets her, ''Good morning, What's your name?''
''Patty'' she replies and takes a seat.
At the third stop there is a mother waiting with her son.
Mac greets the boy, ''Good morning, What's your name?''
The mother speaks up on his behalf,''This is my son, Ross.. He really doesn't talk very much... Well.. He's kind of special. ''

The boy silently takes a seat.

At the fourth stop there is this wild looking boy waiting.

Mac greets him, ''Good morning, What's your name?''

The boy, full of energy, answers, ''Lester!.. Lester Cheese!'' and comes bounding aboard the bus and as soon as he sits down pulls off his shoes and begins picking at the callouses on his feet...

The week passes by and Mac thinks that actually this has been best behaved bunch of kids he has ever driven. He decides to to reward them with a special treat. So Thursday night he goes does to the bus barn with cans of brightly colored paint and artist brushes. On the side of the sides of the school bus he paints a mural featuring Cookie Monster, Bert & Ernie, Miss Piggy, Kermit the Frog, Elmo, and Big Bird.

Friday morning Mac starts his route and kids are just thrilled with the paint job. They are so excited! They start whooping and shouting and jumping up and down in their seats. The bus drives past a motorcycle cop and all of this commotion catches his attention and he pulls the school bus over.

The cop strolls up to the driver's window and says...
''Well, well, well! Who do we have here?''.....

Mac replies.....

''I'm Big Mac with two obese Patty's, Special Ross, Lester Cheese picking his bunions, all on Sesame Street Bus!''.
MORE JOKES

copyright © jokesandlies.com