Jokes and Lies



The latest lies from around the world.

West Milton, Ohio - The entire town has been taken over by zombie livestock. These flesh eaters will consume all the humans and move on for their next feast....

Palm Bay, Florida - I used to live at the end of Malabar Road (west end). An old man named George lived in the woods and said there was a Bigfoot out there. Supposedly th...

Zoar, Ohio - The biggest lie in Zoar is Alexander Gunn! A lie that has been going on for 120 years since 1900. Prior to 1900 Alexander Gunn was not a lie. Everyone...

Hollow Rock, Tennessee - I live on state route 114 and behind the house in the neighborhood back there I hear what sounds like a wounded dog whining and whimpering every night...

Bolt, West Virginia - I am with child when the lady in white came to me while visiting family in Bolt. She wanted help finding the twin babies. We did a family tree search ...

Daly City, California - A friend has dug up his backyard 2 years ago. Now there are sightings, missing items, and flashes. The priest and the cops have been there. The priest...

Glide, Oregon - This place rocks!....

Milpitas, California - I was sleeping on my birthday all of a sudden someone knocked on my door. I was like why is someone knocking on my door at 2 in the morning? I checked...

Sacramento, California - One of my friends that live in Sacramento was gone for 3 weeks and was found in his backyard....

Kountze, Texas - If you go to the 418 bridge in Kountze at midnight, you can observe the ghost of Joseph Stalin smoking pot in an 85 Trail Blazer with his buddy. ....

Clover, South Carolina - Well, there is a deer looking thing that will look at you while running after you going 120 mph. Yellow eyes creepy looking. It happened after we pass...

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Mom, why does dad have so little hair on his head?
- Well dear, it's because he thinks so much.
- Mom, why do you have so much hair on your head?.
Bigamy and monogamy is the same thing Delbert.
- How's that Arthur?
- One wife too many.
Arthur and Delbert are catching up after Arthur was sent to Iraq. Arthur says ''I have been teaching my dog to speak English.'' ''No way.'' Delbert replied in disbelief. ''Then listen to this.'' He turns to his dog and asks ''How was the situation in Iraq?'' The dog replies ''rough rough''.
The Tomato Family is out a stroll in the park. Mommy and Daddy are leading the way however Baby Tomato keeps lagging behind. Daddy is getting madder and madder at Baby Tomato's inability to keep pace. Finally, Daddy Tomato totally loses his temper and walks back in a rage towards Baby Tomato and stomps him into a pulpy mess and screams,''Ketch Up!!!'' .
Why do sharks never attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
When the small town built a new bridge they installed a traffic counter to monitor traffic flow. The counter was getting close to the million mark, so they thought it would be a good idea to greet the millionth car an give him a prize. The counter read 999,999 and the sheriff and the mayor was standing by for the next car and here it came.
- Congratulations sir, you are the 1,000,000 th car to cross this bridge, you win $1,000.
- Wow a thousand bucks, yippie, I'm gonna go to driving school with that money and get myself one of them drivers licenses said Arthur.
- Don't listen to him, said his wife Gertrude in the passenger seat, he's drunk.
- I told you we wouldn't get far in a stolen car, said Delbert from the backseat.
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