Jokes and Lies



The latest lies from around the world.

Aztec, New Mexico - The dorm is actually good....

Clarksville, Arkansas - There is always a man in my closet and bathroom. Every time I get up at night and go to the bathroom he is sitting in the toilet screaming holding a k...

Sonora, California - I went to Sonora today hearing all these stories previously. I just was expecting something, so we got there and grabbed a bite to eat at this small r...

Durango, Colorado - A woman reported that a man she met at a bar promised he would love her forever, and she took him home. She said that he disappeared right after they ...

Muskogee, Oklahoma - Strange blue light shining down on my cows last pm. Now some of them have strange markings on them like egyptian hieroglyphs. Also some of the dairy c...

Dilley, Texas - There is a devil out by the oil fields. It is there under big mounds of earth. At least 40 circular mounds of earth which have a small opening at the ...

Canal Winchester, Ohio - A Jabberwocky can be seen every year on June 13th trying to remove bodies from graves in the Union Cemetery....

Wilcox, Nebraska - There is a super dooper scary ghost with a hammer....

Royse City, Texas - That intelligent life has been found at the Southern Junction....

West Milton, Ohio - The sky grew dark as a gigantic group of zombie vultures flew over the area. They were looking to satisfy their hunger with the local human population...

Upland, Nebraska - There is an evil duck who is building the third quack to take over all of the other waterfowl birds....

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Sexdockor



Do you have any mail for me today?
Well, let's see, what's your name?
It's on the envelope.
George: ''Knock! Knock!''

Carl: ''Who's there?''

George: ''Turkey!''

Carl: ''Turkey who?''

George: ''Turkey under the doormat no don't wanna work, so me goes Knock! Knock! Instead!''

================

George: ''Knock! Knock!''

Carl: ''Who's there?''

George: ''Chicken and Veal!''

Carl: ''Chicken and Veal who?''

George: ''I was just chicken to see if you were home and it's Veal nice to see that you are!''.
Rex: ''How did the penitentiary guards feel when they located the missing prisoner?''

Tex: ''Confounded!''.
Arthur's mama's so holy; she thinks nuns dress too provocatively.
Arthur had been a car mechanic ever since he dropped out of high school, he died young at the age of 34. When he met Saint Peter at the gates of heaven he asked:
- Saint Peter, why did you let me die so young?
- Well now Arthur, based on how many hours you've been charging your customers according to your accounting records you are 95 years old.
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