Arthur, why are your eyes closed?
- Well Delbert, I was in the middle of a blink and I got bored.
Arthur: -What are Brazilian fans called ?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -Brazil nuts !.
Arthur and Delbert are catching up after Arthur was sent to Iraq. Arthur says ''I have been teaching my dog to speak English.'' ''No way.'' Delbert replied in disbelief. ''Then listen to this.'' He turns to his dog and asks ''How was the situation in Iraq?'' The dog replies ''rough rough''.
Arthur was applying for a job at the railroad.
- Ok, here's the scenario, said the interviewer, Two trains are travelling at 75 miles per hour towards each other on the same track, what do you do?
- I'd go and get my friend Delbert.
- Your friend? Why would you do that?
- He's never seen a train wreck before.
Arthur was sitting in the bathtub shivering.
- G G Gertrude D d d dear.. C c call D d doctor R R Rueprecht and ask him if I really need to take these pills with cold water.
MORE JOKES
| |
Jokes and Lies
The latest lies from around the world.
Princeton, Minnesota - The ghost of a young girl can be seen every spring roller skating up Main Street towards where the old Stanley Bait Store was located....
Red Bluff, California - The brickyard apartments were built over part of the cemetery, and my apartment is very haunted. I am visited daily by the spirit of this old cranky a...
Quinton, Oklahoma - That Quinton Oklahoma is an old graveyard town. The whole town is built on old Indian burial grounds....
Stratford, California - On my way to work this morning I was attacked by a diplodocus. I got away but he ate my car....
Royal Oak, Michigan - I will not go here it's full of hipsters....
Warren, Michigan - This is the most boring city in Michigan!....
Surveyor, West Virginia - There are no apartments in Surveyor....
Dwale, Kentucky - Dwale is a drug free community....
Wells, Maine - I saw a weird little light up in the trees. At first I thought it was a car, but it began to move back and forth until it flew off. What could it be? ...
Junction City, Oregon - Hello, there my friend. We're in Junction City. I also stayed in a haunted house in Central Point, Oregon when I was a kid....
Roseburg, Oregon - A disgraced geneticist moved here in the late 1990s. Eventually he successfully achieved his goal of splicing a cobra's DNA with a chalupa. The chalup...
Stone Mountain, Georgia - I was posted up on the mountain near the fence line when I saw the lumberjack marching towards me, and then it vanished into thin air....
Hope, Arkansas - You should live here. It's the best place on earth....
Alabaster, Alabama - There are many carriages or ''vehicles,'' if you will, that will from time to time appear behind a motorist seemingly out of nowhere. Most people who ...
Senatobia, Mississippi - I don't even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I do not know who you are, but definitely you are going to a famous blogger i...
Carlsbad, New Mexico - New Mexico is home to the most haunted town in the USA. My grandchildren have seen a man in the corner of their room, and when one of them tried to sp...
More recent lies from around the world
|
